as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
