I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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