youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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