i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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