He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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