i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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