I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
