you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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