just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
