It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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