Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
