I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
