guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
