Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
