i just wanna soil my oats bro
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
