She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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