Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize