All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize