Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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