there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
worst night to have a conscience
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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