we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize