If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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