So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
