I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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