I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Randomize
