There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
