Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
There's even glitter on my cock...
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