he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The struggles of a small town man whore
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?