I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That's how pantless uber rides happen