I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
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Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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