How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
