Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize