it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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