I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
