in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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