C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
