I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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