You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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