guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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