i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
