They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
