i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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