the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
