I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
