Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
