3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
