I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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