I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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