David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
