We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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