I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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