Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
