Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize