I hate your face
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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