Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
