I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
