it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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