Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
