I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
